Why I Hate Lauren Conrad

            When I say hate, I mean girl hate. This basically means I am both obsessed with and jealous of her. Not only did Lauren Conrad get to live out my dream of being on my not-so-guilty-pleasure that is Laguna Beach, she is perfect on all levels.

            But no one is perfect, you say.

            Wrong.

            How is “LC” perfect? Let me count thy ways.

Seriously?

1. As if being the nice, pretty girl on Laguna Beach wasn’t enough, after the show (tragically) ended, Lauren got her own spinoff show called The Hills. Even though it was later revealed to be fake, she still provided America with juicy entertainment, all while living a fabulous life and looking incredible.

2.  Her hair. I cannot put the jealously I feel towards her ombré into words. She has the perfect honey shade, which subtly yet beautifully transforms into a more platinum blonde towards the ends. As a girl with super curly brown hair, I can only dream of hair like this. Not only is her color on point, it is always beautifully styled. I have spent (and wasted) many nights in front of the mirror trying to emulate her signature braid, to no avail.

3. Her Pinterest is out of this world. With boards such as “wear”, “primp”, “smile”, and “grow”, Lauren sorts through the best of the best when it comes to a glamorous life. Her Pinterest account is also attached to her website, which is equally perfect. The site includes style and beauty tips, wedding ideas, life advice, DIY activities, and more. Oh, and, no shocker, it looks beautiful too.

4. Lauren's Pinterest is not the only aesthetically perfect social media account attached to the Lauren Conrad image. Her Instagram account is somehow both beautifully uniform and unique. The pictures are often of simple things, yet she magically makes them look artsy and wonderful. She also Instagrams snapshots from her lavish escapades. To create a signature look and build her brand, it seems as though Lauren uses the same filter on all of her pictures (my best guess is Rise). A look at her Instagram is sure to make even the biggest LC hater jealous.

5. Her style. And two clothing lines (LC Lauren Conrad and Paper Crown).

Clothes from LC Lauren Conrad

6. And finally, the number one reason I hate Lauren Conrad: her eyeliner. That’s right. The amount of time I have spent trying to copy her braid is NOTHING compared to the hours upon hours of agonizing attempts to get her look. Those wings. That cat-eye. It’s perfect. After many failed attempts to get my makeup looking even remotely like hers, I reassured myself by concluding that it must be done by a professional. But then I stumbled upon (aka googled how to get Lauren Conrad’s eyeliner) the video below. To my dismay, LC does her eyeliner herself. In under two minutes. And makes it look easy. After much thought, I think I have come up with the only conclusion that makes Lauren Conrad’s perfection make sense; she is a robot. A famous, fabulous, perfectly styled and made-up, robot who I wish I could be.

Ps. Bonus points for hooking up with this.